|The biggest problem with having to be right is that it always makes someone else wrong. Thereby hangs the problem. |
How often do you feel you need to argue the pint, have the last word and show them that you are the one who is in the right? How good does the victory feel? Does it make you feel good about yourself? If you feel good does the feeling last long?
The interesting this is as soon as you give up the need to be right the competition disappears and so does the problem
It is my experience both personally and through the large numbers of clients I work with that needing to be seen to be right is based on a shaky sense of self worth. If you feel good about yourself and secure in your own ability you can afford to step back and let the other person think they are right. They will discover the truth soon enough.
Of course if you are a parent and your child is about to do something dangerous these rules don?t apply but in general the things we latch on to when we fight to be right don?t really make any difference in the grand scheme of things. We just create the illusion that victory is important no matter what the cost in terms of the relationship and the other person?s sense of worth.
My advice is choose very carefully when it is important to be seen to be right. Ask yourself if this really matters, what will it cost you to allow the other person to ?win?.
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If You Are Creating The Script For Your Own Life ?Story? Why Not Give Yourself A Stonkingly Good Part?
We are constantly making sense of the world around us and in particular our interaction with others. We create a story based on our beliefs and that story becomes our reality.
Common stories are ?I?m not good enough,? ?No one understands me,? ?I haven?t enough money / time / resources / education etc? ? If I say no, no one will like me? ?It is ok for everyone else, but I?m just unlucky?, the list is endless.
Once we have created the story we then look for evidence to support it. We twist each situation and interaction with others to fit our belief and in doing so the belief becomes entrenched.
The amazing thing is that we have the capacity to create stories where we are limited, the victim, the under dog or the hero or heroine with all the resources we need to succeed and live a fantastic life. As soon as you change the way you make and interpret stories everything changes. Whether it is for the better is entirely up to you.
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