Gina Gardiner Associates
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"Providing a Leading-Edge Training Hub with Next Level Solutions For Demonstrating Limitless Potential"
Coaching, Mentoring and Developing Leaders
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There is Only One You - Make the Most of Yourself
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2025-08-14 - Hard Conversations, Soft Hearts, Clear Results
One of the most common fears I hear from leaders is this: "I hate confrontation. I don't want to upset people."
I understand that fear. I've workedd with many clients who have avoided difficult conversations whenever they could. They hoped problems would fix themselves, or they'd water down feedback to keep the peace. But the truth was,it wasn't helping anyone. The opposite was true - problems grew, trust eroded and performance suffered. Rather than protecting their staff people felt confused and let down.
The turning point came has come when the leaders I was working with understood the difference between confrontation and confronting the issue.
Learning to confront the issue in a constructive way is a major game changer.
It requires that leaders set out and share explicit and consistent expectations from the outset
That when people fall short of expectations they are held to account by leaders who know how to manage their own emotions first and who present the issue clearly and fairly
That opportunities for development are identified and agreed.
I never cease to be amazed at the astonishing results created by this approach
Instead of defensiveness - understanding. Instead of resentment - respect. People want clarity, even when it's uncomfortable so long as it comes from a place of trust and respect.
In the Visionary Leadership Masterclass (October 21-23),
Hard conversations are not a failure of leadership. Avoiding them is. The Masterclass offers you the opportunity to develop the confidence and understanding to tackle those difficult conversations in your professional and your personal life
Reserve your free place here: spiritualleadershipblueprint.com/masterclass
If you've been carrying a conversation you've been too afraid to have, let this be your reminder: clarity is kindness.
I understand that fear. I've workedd with many clients who have avoided difficult conversations whenever they could. They hoped problems would fix themselves, or they'd water down feedback to keep the peace. But the truth was,it wasn't helping anyone. The opposite was true - problems grew, trust eroded and performance suffered. Rather than protecting their staff people felt confused and let down.
The turning point came has come when the leaders I was working with understood the difference between confrontation and confronting the issue.
Learning to confront the issue in a constructive way is a major game changer.
It requires that leaders set out and share explicit and consistent expectations from the outset
That when people fall short of expectations they are held to account by leaders who know how to manage their own emotions first and who present the issue clearly and fairly
That opportunities for development are identified and agreed.
I never cease to be amazed at the astonishing results created by this approach
Instead of defensiveness - understanding. Instead of resentment - respect. People want clarity, even when it's uncomfortable so long as it comes from a place of trust and respect.
In the Visionary Leadership Masterclass (October 21-23),
Hard conversations are not a failure of leadership. Avoiding them is. The Masterclass offers you the opportunity to develop the confidence and understanding to tackle those difficult conversations in your professional and your personal life
Reserve your free place here: spiritualleadershipblueprint.com/masterclass
If you've been carrying a conversation you've been too afraid to have, let this be your reminder: clarity is kindness.
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What My Clients Say
"Gina is truly remarkable - quite simply she saved my life and I do not exaggerate that in any way. I knew Gina, although we had never met personally and as yet still haven't, through my work running a 'virtual' office from home. Without going into detail at the beginning of 2010 a number of changes occurred the effects of which were to rip my life as I'd known it to shreds. I neither chose nor wanted any of these sudden changes.
When Gina rang me one morning it was a morning that saw me pacing my office like a caged animal in utter despair. What precisely prompted me to pick up the phone when it rang I don't know because I was distraught, hardly able to speak let alone answer the phone professionally, however, pick up the phone I did and that was the best phone call I have ever taken.
Gina stayed on the phone with me for I believe two hours. She gave me the tools to deal with the immediate distress I was in and thereafter we embarked on weekly, then fortnightly sessions to move me from the place of despair I'd found myself in to where I am now which is a very different place.
It's not been easy, choosing to learn from what has happened can be uncomfortable, painful and sad, but with Gina's help and support it's possible. We all know that bad things happen to everybody all the time, in my particular case it was the sheer number of things that happened so quickly that brought to my knees, literally. I knew I needed help and that help, in the form of Gina, found me just at the right moment.
I am so strong now and I have learnt so much about myself - some nice, and some not so nice. But the journey has been and still is fascinating.
Gina is so kind, never judgemental; she holds a safe space where you can be open and honest. Gina pushes when pushing is needed, supports when support is needed but she gets you there and you never feel like you're battling along on your own. You will make changes, you will be better, (Gina would pick me up on the word 'better' because that indicates that you were somehow bad before) your life will be different. Be prepared for some soul searching but also be prepared to find greatness because we all have greatness within us - sometimes we just forget.
I could talk about Gina forever but suffice it to say she will remain a very special person in my life. Without her - well I don't want to think about that!"
When Gina rang me one morning it was a morning that saw me pacing my office like a caged animal in utter despair. What precisely prompted me to pick up the phone when it rang I don't know because I was distraught, hardly able to speak let alone answer the phone professionally, however, pick up the phone I did and that was the best phone call I have ever taken.
Gina stayed on the phone with me for I believe two hours. She gave me the tools to deal with the immediate distress I was in and thereafter we embarked on weekly, then fortnightly sessions to move me from the place of despair I'd found myself in to where I am now which is a very different place.
It's not been easy, choosing to learn from what has happened can be uncomfortable, painful and sad, but with Gina's help and support it's possible. We all know that bad things happen to everybody all the time, in my particular case it was the sheer number of things that happened so quickly that brought to my knees, literally. I knew I needed help and that help, in the form of Gina, found me just at the right moment.
I am so strong now and I have learnt so much about myself - some nice, and some not so nice. But the journey has been and still is fascinating.
Gina is so kind, never judgemental; she holds a safe space where you can be open and honest. Gina pushes when pushing is needed, supports when support is needed but she gets you there and you never feel like you're battling along on your own. You will make changes, you will be better, (Gina would pick me up on the word 'better' because that indicates that you were somehow bad before) your life will be different. Be prepared for some soul searching but also be prepared to find greatness because we all have greatness within us - sometimes we just forget.
I could talk about Gina forever but suffice it to say she will remain a very special person in my life. Without her - well I don't want to think about that!"
Nina